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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho...

Kuch nahi yaar bas aapki shakal yaad aa gayi!

Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Oh mneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c.

Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.

Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai.

Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.

Paani mein whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.

Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.

Paani mein brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.

Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

Twinkle Twinkle Jatt di car,  
Khadke glassi in the bar,
Punjabi Bhangra te
Chicken Fry,
Always TALLI
never CRY !!!

Ek bar baarish ho rahi thi,

ek aadmi chatri lekar ja raha tha,

chatri ke upar ek keeda aur keedi khade hue thay,

keedi hawa se udd gayi.

Keeda bola, "Mitran di chatri to udd gayi, ambran te laundi hain udariyan."

Doli wali car dekh-ke heer ne cheekan maariyan ne.

Kehandi main ta rikshe ch jaun,

car ch ta pehlan hi 6 sawarian ne.

Chuha to haathi: tuhadi umar kinni hai?
Haathi: 1 Saal, te teri?
Chuha: Umar ta meri v 1 saal hi hai, par saale nashe patte ne mittran di sehat down jehi karti.

Ik sherni nach rahi si, usnu dekhke thodi door ik chuha vi nach reha si.
Sherni ne puchia ki ho gaya?
Chuha kehnda, "Nachne nu kare mera jee, haye ni tenu nachdi vekh ke".

What is the height of telling a lie?
A negro telling his girlfriend,

"tenu kaala chasma jachda hai, jachda hai gore mukhde te"

Dosti karo college wali se,

pyar karo office wali se,

batein karo pados wali se,

ankh ladao sali se,

love karo dilvali se,

AUR MAR KHAO GHARVALI SE.

Kabhi hausla bhi azma lena chahiye,
Bure waqt me muskura lena chahiye,
Agar 7ve din bhi khujli na mite to 8ve din naha lena chahiye..!!!

Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye...???
Circuit: simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lene ka..!!!

Jab tum is duniya se jaoge,
Door kahin ek naya janam paoge,
Is bar galtee se jo hua so hua,
Mujhe yakeen hai agli bar lambi poonch aur 4 taang ke saath aaoge..!!!

Girlfriend ko I love u bolna hai or recharge khatam.

Ab kya kare?

Mein batata hoon kya karein.

Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U.

Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega.

Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein.

Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!
Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?

Phoolon mein gulab achha lagta hai,

har chehre par shabab achha lagta hai,

aap hamesha naak se chuhe nikalte rahen,

hamein aapka yahi andaaz achha lagta hai.

What do you call a female who never laughs?

"HASINA"

Maalik: Ramu, iss saal tum 4 bar apne dada ke marne ki chutti le chuke ho.
Ramu: Maalik, iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai.

Every Indian women is RANI LAXMI BAI in her life.
RANI - Before marriage.
LAXMI - After marriage.
BAI - After children.

Rabri: Ka karat ho?
Laalu: Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri: Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu: Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai.
Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?".

Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?".

Pyar to humein bhi karna tha,

par kuch khaas nahi hua.

Tajmahal to humein bhi banana tha..
par afsoos ke....

loan pass nahi hua...

Lady drinking coke, machhar falls in.

Lady takes it out, machhar says

"MAA"! Lady asks why did you call me "MAA"?

machhar says, "Main teri coke se nikla hoon, MAA!".

Tum haste raho,

nachte raho,

muskurate raho,

sada khil khilate raho,

khush raho aur gungunate raho,

mera kya hai,

log tumhe hi pagal samzhenge....

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...

Which are the 2 latest versions of java.

Think... think... think...

Marjava & Mitjava

Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maa banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.

Baba ji ka mela laga hai haridwar mein.

Prashad mein Recharge Coupon diye jayenge.

Kisi aur ko mat batana.

Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha hai

Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha.

2nd day doosri ladki k saath dekha gaya.

3rd day koi aur ladki thi.

4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

Kal kare so aaj kar,

aaj kar so ab.

Kal kare so aaj kar,

aaj kar so ab.

Abey karta hi rahega to dhoyega kab?

Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

Media: Prince, bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai?
Prince: Kya acha lagega? Andar choclate thi, pastry thi, milk badam tha.

Thodi der aur ruk jaate shayad Bipasha bhi aa jati.

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla.

Dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla.

Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se,

aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.

Medical Shayari
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!

When you don't breathe, you expire!
Wah Wah, kya baat hai!

Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.

Geeta mein likha hai?
 

are yaar yahan kya dhund raha hai, maine kaha geeta mein likha hai!!

Kripya Dhyaan De,


Dhyaan dene k liye Shukriya!

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

There is a sign in the toilet of the sex change clinic.

It reads: We may never piss this way again.

It's the sweetest thing to do.

Do it the bed, on a sofa,

in the bathroom or anywhere!

U must never stop doing it.

It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time.

Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for selfish.

Mon to Son, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed.

For me, you've always been a headache!

Good news!

A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend.

Just call me and order your kiss.

I will personally go and deliver it.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want,

then when you see what the other person has,

you wish you had ordered that.

Several women appeared in court,

each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived.

The judge called for orderly testimony.

"I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed.

The case was closed for lack of evidence.