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Jad aapji da janam hoya te tusi nange si te cheekan maar rahe si,
te hun jad tusi nange hunde ho te koi hor cheekan marda hai.
Sab time-time di gal hai!

A lady from 2nd floor asking a bananawala: Kaise diye?
Bananawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara.
Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja.

Daughter: Mom, kya yeh sach hai ki ladke jahan apna l*nd dalte hain, bachha wahin se nikalta hai?
Mom: Haan.
Daughter: Oh my god! To kya mera bachha mere muh se niklega?

Husband: kash hamare ladki ki jagah ladka ho jata?
Wife: Chhodo ji, agar main aapke bharose rehti, to ladki bhi nahi hoti.

Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.

Sali: Jija ji 500 rs. dedo, agley hafte doongi...
Jija: 1500 lele par abhi de..

INDIA KI REET...

Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR...

Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR...

Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR...

aur agar apne aap lele to...

BaLaTkAar...

School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha:

Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain,

bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!

Hair oil ki ad mein hair dikhate hain,

Skin cream ki ad mein Skin,

Toothpaste me Teeth,

Footwears me Feet,

par WHISPER ki ad mein kuch nahi dikhate????

Jaago Grahak Jaago!

Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

When a man talks dirty 2 a women, its sexual harassment,
when a women talks dirty 2 a man, its $$$ per minute!

Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES

He came 2 me 1 nite
explored my body
licked
sucked
swallowed
& had his fill
wen satisfied he left...
I was hurt...
F***IN MOSQUITO
U Dirty Mind

Which Part...
of a man's body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!

ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...

Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all women problems begin with MEN!

Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din't wear any of them.

Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women
A: magnets have a positive side

Hey dude Congrats! Heard u got selected as the first male model for Whisper advertisement.

Why should girls have all the fun.

Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh.

It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!

Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn't laugh at a 3 inch floppy.

Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day.

She'll give u gud news on Mothers` day

n u'll hv a child on children`s day.

Don't try this on everybody.

U'll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day)

It's short thing,

gets longer when u hold it,

and pass between women breasts,

and enters into a hole. What is it?

Car Seat Belt, you dirty mind.

Wives r incoming calls,
Lovers r outgoing calls,
Aunties r Toll-free calls,
Callgirls r Roaming calls,
Neighbour girls r Missed Calls.

A dentist was caught raping a girl.

Next day headline,

"Dentist caught filling wrong cavity".

Colour of underwear reflects your mood:
Red - Wild,
Black - Sexy,
Blue - Romantic,
Pink - Seductive
White - Calm,
Yellow - time to change your undrewear!

An journalist to mallika sherawat:

What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?
Mallika: I go back to my home!

Lady1: How come your husband is always home on time?
Lady2: I have made a simple rule. SEX will be at 9PM, whether you are here or not.

Girl & Boy were having sex.
Girl: Darling, I want you to kiss my lips!
Boy: Sure, which 1 would you prefer first, lower lip or upper lip?
Girl: Middle lips, the ones right in the middle of my legs.

Boy (to girl): What's there in between your legs?
Girl: Hell! And what's there in between your legs?
Boy: A sinner, who wants to go to hell.

Why Mahendra Singh Dhoni has no girlfriend?....

Because, he drinks 2 litre of milk daily.

When an apple is green, its ready to pluck. When a girl in eighteen, she is ready to...

VOTE. You dirty mind, Elections are near, but I know what you were thinking.

In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
"I slept wid ur mom last nite"
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response.

He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"

Why do 90%
of the girls have a bigger left breast ?
because....

90% of the
boys are
right handed..

Do you like mathematics?

If so, add a bed,

subtract your clothes,

divide your legs and

we can multiply!

Sounds women make during sex.
1) Asthmatic - ah.ahh.ah..ah.
2) Obedient - yes.yes..yes.
3) Unsatisfied - more. more...more.
4) Religious - oh god. oh god.

1 day as I came home early from work,

I saw a guy jogging naked.

I said to the guy,

"Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"

He said, "Because you came home early."

One day there was this naked man and elephant,

the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds,

ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"

A baby dog asks mama dog: How papa looks like.

Mama dog said: "Your dad came from behind, I do not have the chance to see its face carefully!"

A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick.

He went home and proudly showed his wife.

"There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said.

A Sex expert was once asked whether a rape is possible while running.

No, he replied, woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.

A cat and a rooster sat by a lake,

the cat fell in the lake,

the rooster laughed!

LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!

A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river,

but gets its paws wet,

then it see a bigger one but falls in!

MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!

A man was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body,

he was asked what he was doing and he answered - waiting for autumn.

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts.

This is no ordinary blow job!

A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work..

If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.

All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. =)

Teacher: why are you late?
Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull.
Teacher(Angrily): Can't your dad to it?
Student: No, only BULL can do it.